Sunday, August 7, 2011

June Challenge- Wrap Up!

Greetings from Texas!  I'm kicking myself because I never followed through on posting about the end of my June challenge.  Since my last post, I have packed up everything I own, shipped myself back to the great state of Texas, taught 3 weeks of summer school, and attended 2 weeks of teacher inservice trainings!  Not much time for blogging, but it's bothering me that I have closed out this challenge, so here it is:  

Daily Practice
I won't give the day by day break down, but I was practicing every day either by myself or taking Bettina and Kurt's Technique, Ensemble, and Performance classes.  I performed Something to Talk About in Bettina's class for two weeks and Hungry in Kurt's class.  Both teachers helped me focus on intention for the songs so that I could convey meaning to my audience and not just focus on trying to hit notes.  I still get jittery as I take my walk to the piano and then out to center, but I can't believe how far I've come since the Fall semester when I would peer in the window of performance classes and think, "I could NEVER do that!"  Hooray for growth! 

Private Lessons and Coaching
I completed all of my private lessons with Kurt, and he even brought in Tim during my last session so I could work with an accompianist.  Big takeaways, I need to start pushing myself for volume and presence.  I have to be willing to be bold and make strong choices rather than holding back and being so caught up in technique.  I'm excited to find a teacher here in Houston so I can continue training and getting better!  (I miss you Kurt!)

Demo
I recorded my second demo, Hungry, on the last day before I left NYC.  Obviously, I'm always going to say that I'm still working on my technique, and there were parts throughout that I wish I could have done better, but for my second time doing this, I'm still really proud of myself. 

I'm particularly proud of the arrangement, because unlike Falling for You, I did not have a main track that I was using to model myself after.  Hungry is one of those praise and worship songs that everyone does differently, and I couldn't find the original song for the instrumental track that I used.  At first I was a little nervous about that, but it was exciting to have the creative freedom to piece the song together the way I wanted to.  Also Lane was amazing, and he helped me to write out some harmonies and background lines that I sang under my melody.  So ALL the vocals on this track are me.  Those of you who know me know how much I struggle with hearing harmonies and breaking away from the melody, so this was a giant leap for me!  (Thanks, Bettina, for all the vocal ensemble classes!)

Anyways, here it is if you want to LISTEN to it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNLzg32hRFI


Finally, thanks for all of your support this past year, and specifically during these two months of challenges as I learned to conquer one of my biggest fears!  I appreciate all of you, and good luck to each of you as you pursue your dreams!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

June Challenge- Day 10

So I have moved my NYC departure date up by two weeks because it was so much easier to find someone to sublet at the beginning of the month, and it also saved me half a month's rent.  As as result, my focus has shifted just a bit, and I'm not going to complete all of the challenge goals I originally set out for myself.  It pains me to not reach each one of my specific goals, but I am still using these last few days to take advantage of everything New York has to offer!

Daily Practice
Tuesday- Vocal Tech and Vocal Ensemble (Bettina)
Wednesday- Vocal Tech (Kurt)
Thursday- no practice... but for good reason!  I was selected to be an audience member of the GLEE movie being taped in Jersey.  I was gone the entire day and didn't get back until after midnight.
Friday- Vocal Tech (Kurt)
Saturday- Private Lesson (Kurt)
Sunday- practiced at home
Monday- Vocal Tech and Vocal Performance (Bettina)

In my private with Kurt, he noticed some lower notes in my range that he hadn't heard on me before.  He says I should start looking at some Alto repertoire and try shifting some of my other songs down 2 half steps.  We played with a series of lower songs to see where they sat in my voice:

Don't Know Why- Nora Jones
Something to Talk About- Bonnie Rait
Bust Your Windows- Mercedes (Glee cast)
There Is None Like You- Watermark with Shane and Shane
Rolling in the Deep- Adele

They were definitely a lot more comfortable!  I obviously want to keep challenging my upper range and practicing my old songs, but I'm excited to explore songs that sit in my chest a little longer and allow for a richer quality.

Non-dance exercise
I've started a new routine of waking up at 6am and going for a 3-mile walk six days a week.  Last week was my first week doing it, and I went five times!  Not a bad start.  I'm trying to start getting into the routines I'll have during the school year.  During the school year, I have to work out in the morning otherwise I'll never do it.  I'm forcing myself to no longer snooze in the mornings and to put myself to bed at a decent hour at night.  It's only June, so I'm excited to already be on the right track! 

Dance Classes
Monday- Ballet (Goheen) and Contemporary (Mousset)
Tuesday- Contemporary (Mousset)
Wednesday and Friday- Ballet (Goheen)

This week's words of wisdom from Beth Goheen:
"Never compare yourself to others; always compete with yourself, and learn from others."
So true!!!

Healthy Eating
So this is one of the big areas of the challenge that's been hit by the new departure-date hurricane.  I have a long list of places that I want to experience before I leave NYC, and a lot of them involve restaurants, dessert shops, and bars.  And to sweeten the pot, I have two besties coming in town to help me paint the town.  Realistically, there's no way that I'll be staying under 1500 calories in these last few days.  I'm still being wise and health-conscious, but I'm pretty sure there's not anything at Serendipity that's under 1000 calories.  :)

Challenge Calculator
  • Daily vocal practice- 10/20 
  • Private lessons- 1/3
  • Coaching Session- 0/1
  • Vocal Performance classes- 1/3
  • Open mics- 0/2 (not sure if this is going to happen in NYC, but first thing on the list in TX)
  • Record demo- 0/1 (not sure if this is going to happen in NYC, but first thing on the list in TX)
  • Dance classes- 5/15
  • Non-dance exercise- 6/15
  • Healthy eating- at or below 1500 calories daily- 5/15 (eliminating until TX)
  • Charitable deeds- 0/2
  • Blog at least once per week
Soooo, not too bad!  I'm having to make some changes, but I'm not giving up!  Just trying to soak up every last drop of this great city-- singing, dancing, performing, dining, sight-seeing-- the whole shebang. 

Livin' the dream.

Monday, June 13, 2011

June Challenge- Day 3

Day 1 and 2 were rough as I was trying to get back into the swing of things, but Day 3 was a great success! I think Monday is always a great day to really get with the program. 

Daily Practice 1 and 2
I skipped yesterday; I just couldn't find any time alone, and I was too lazy to go to Ripley Grier.  :(  BUT... today I tried practicing on my apartment roof for the first time, and it was great.  Now I never have an excuse for not getting my 30+ minutes in, and I'll never skip again! ;-)

However, on Saturday I used the Full-Voice CD, and today I used a recording of a private lesson with Kurt.  I worked on my 'meow's' up and down the scale and then in place of the words for Defying Gravity.

Non-Dance Exercise 1 and 2
Saturday I went to the gym and worked out on the elliptical, and today I walked 3 miles through Central Park.

Dance Class 1 and 2
1- Ballet w/ Goheen
2- Contemporary w/Mousset

Ugghhh, I love Mousset's class.  It was my first time taking Mousset in several months, and I don't know why I haven't been taking him 3 times a week all year.  That class is all about movement, and breath, and release-- not counts and arbitrary shapes.   It's one of the few classes I take where I feel like I'm really dancing.  Love, love.

Healthy Eating Day 1
Today's calorie count- 1461
Breakfast- 1/2 a leftover cheeseburger from a fancy dinner last night (not very healthy, and a weird breakfast, but I didn't want to throw it away, so I ate it after my 3 mile walk and before my 3 hours of dancing... and I adjusted my remaining calories accordingly. :) )
Lunch- Veggie wrap (spinach tortilla, lettuce, black bean salsa, shredded cheese), apple, and baby carrots
Dinner- Sweet potato and Special K cereal
Saturday and Sunday I was still recovering from Texas lakehouse withdrawal.  I've been craving sugar and junk food, but I'm reeling it back in!  

Challenge Calculator

  • Daily vocal practice- 2/20 
  • Private lessons- 0/3
  • Coaching Session- 0/1
  • Vocal Performance classes- 0/3
  • Open mics- 0/2
  • Record demo- 0/1
  • Dance classes- 2/15
  • Non-dance exercise- 2/15
  • Healthy eating- at or below 1500 calories daily- 1/15
  • Charitable deeds- 0/2
  • Blog at least once per week

Saturday, June 11, 2011

June Challenge

Thank you to everyone for following and supporting me during the 30-Day Challenge.  It was a truly transforming month that was about far more than just singing and dancing.  More than anything, I was blown away by the power of the human mind-- I don't think I've ever been so committed to something in my life.  When it seemed like I had too much to do, and too little time, I learned how to pull back and take things one step at a time.  And when my fears were getting the most of me, and I didn't think I could actually go through with some of the tasks, I learned how to plunge forward, stop thinking, and just do. 

I'm committed to keeping up this intensity-- especially since it's my last month in NYC and there's a lot of talent I want to take advantage of, and also with the hopes of training some of these practices into daily habits so that I continue to push myself after I leave the big city.  I just came back from a week vacation at a lakehouse in Texas, and I'll admit, that I've fallen off the wagon, but tomorrow is a new day, and I'm ready to start again!

Here are my goals for the remaining 20 days in June:
  • Daily vocal practice (20) 
  • Private lessons (3)
  • Coaching Session (1)
  • Vocal Performance classes (3)
  • Open mics (2)
  • Record demo (1)
  • Dance classes (15)
  • Non-dance exercise (20)
  • Healthy eating- at or below 1500 calories daily (15)
  • Charitable deeds (2)
  • Blog at least once per week
 And we're off!

Monday, May 30, 2011

Day 1

Yes that's right Day 1, not Day 30.   Thirty in some way signifies finality, and (I'm pretty sure you know where this is heading)... I refuse to look at this as the end of a challenge, but instead the beginning of an even greater challenge.  


Healthy Meals 48, 49, and 50



Breakfast- Quaker cinnamon oatmeal

Lunch- All Fruit Smoothie (blueberries, bananas, strawberries, mangoes, and peaches)

Dinner- Southwest Salad from Lime Jungle (mixed greens, grilled chicken, corn, black beans, tomatoes, and carrots)










Daily Practice
Time: 1 hr +
Songs: When I Fall in Love and I Hope You Dance
I started the morning with vocalizations in my room, using the Full-Voice CD.  Later in the afternoon, I met with Kurt for an additional private lesson.  His biggest note to me is that I need to find the balance between continuing to practice and improve me technique, and actually starting to sing and perform-- which is the exact revelation I had earlier this week.  Especially after watching several fantastic open mics and live performances this week, I've been starting to reflect on what moves me as an audience member.  I've been picking up on the difference between people who are very technical with their approach versus those who are more emotional with their approach.  Obviously, we're all striving for the best of both worlds, but in my eyes, the one with emotion and intention wins 9 times out of 10-- even if their technique is not perfect.  We don't love performances because someone shows off their technique; we love performances because we connect to the story in some way or form.  Right now, I'm not telling stories, I'm just singing notes.  So as I transition out of this 30-day Challenge into my Every-day Challenge, I'm going to start pushing myself to take risks and "just go for it" as Kurt would say.

Dance Classes 19 and 20
Instructors:  Goheen and Jill (subbing for Salsberg)
Type: Ballet and Tap
Today I took my FIRST tap class in 12 years!  It was really fun, and I was surprised how much of it came back to me so quickly.  I didn't realize how physically demanding tap is.  You think it should be easy because people are just moving their feet, but I was drenched with sweat.  I also took ballet with the wonderful Beth Goheen.  She always has great words of wisdom: today she told us to "always dance from your center".  We often hear this term meaning, using your core or abdominal support to engage all of your movement.  She touched on that concept, but she also revealed a dual meaning to the word to discuss the idea of dancing from within.  Again we come back to this idea of story-telling.  All of your movement should be an outward expression of something from inside of you, not just a string of shapes that you force upon your body.

Final Week Challenge Stats
Private Voice Lessons- 4/4
Coaching Sessions- 2/2
Live Vocal Performance- 1/1
NYC Industry Audition- 1/1
You Tube Demo Recording- 1/1
Charitable Deeds- 5/5
Healthy Meals- 25/25 (Personal Goal 50/50)
Live Professional Performance- 1/1
Vocal Practice Sessions- 30/30
Daily Blogs- 30/30
BDC Dance Classes- 20/20

Closing Reflection
So this theme of communicating from within keeps coming up, and it will be my focus during my next stage in training.  Coming to NYC for a year has given me a tremendous opportunity to build my technical vocabulary in both singing and dancing.  But moving forward, I want to start exploring my own 'voice' and style to figure out who I am and what I am wanting to share through my art.  Thankfully through this challenge, I was pushed off the high diving board, so now I don't have to be held back by fear any longer, and I can just swim. 

Without being cliche, this experience has truly challenged and transformed my mind, my body, and my soul.  Thank you Kurt for organizing this-- although from the outside, it may just seem like a fun, exciting event; in reality, this has marked a major turning point in my life, and to that end, I am eternally grateful to you.   More importantly, thank you for believing in me! 
----

I came across this quote a few days ago, and I think it's the best summation of these past 30 days:
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.  
 -- Anais Nin

To all the artists out there, thank you and keep going.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Day 29

Daily Practice
Time: 45 mins
Songs: Near You Always by Jewel and Captivate Us by Watermark
Description: Practiced the first 10 exercises on the warm-up, then did meow exercises from an old tech class.  I didn't have as successful of a practice as I had a few days before.  I really had to concentrate to not let things pull in my throat, so I was hesitant to take scales as high up as I normally do.  I'll be working with Kurt tomorrow,  I'm sure he'll help me get back on track.

I started working on some new songs-- moving away from the Broadway/auditioning circuit and finding things a little bit closer to my heart.   Fellow challenger, Chanel, set a post-challenge goal of recording a demo once a month to keep her working on new material, and also to help her track her growth.  I like that goal, so I'm going to steal it! :)

Dance Classes 16, 17, and 18
Instructors: Hillen, Chio, and Barber
Type: Ballet, Jazz Funk, and Lyrical Jazz
That's right, 3 classes, back-to-back-to-back.  That's 4hrs and 30 mins of hardcore dancing!  If you think about it, that's about how long some people take to run a marathon!  Anyways, I worked it out in all 3 classes; it was a good dance day.





Both Hillen and Chio used the same choreography as earlier this week, so I got to work more on presence and performance-- that's always my challenge because I spend so much energy focusing on the steps.  Barber's loves quick direction changes, so you have to stay focused otherwise you'll end up all wrapped around yourself and facing a different corner than everyone else.  She's also great because her movement is really open and expressive-- you can't hold back in her class; you'll just look awkward.  You have to let go and let your body move freely which is another struggle of mine, so this class is great for me.


Healthy Meals 46 and 47




Breakfast- Kashi cereal

                          Lunch- chicken and lettuce







----
Final Week Challenge Stats
Private Voice Lessons- 4/4
Coaching Sessions- 2/2
Live Vocal Performance- 1/1
NYC Industry Audition- 1/1
You Tube Demo Recording- 1/1
Charitable Deeds- 5/5
Healthy Meals- 25/25 (Personal Goal 47/50)
Live Professional Performance- 1/1
Vocal Practice Sessions- 29/30
Daily Blogs- 29/30
BDC Dance Classes- 18/20


I can't believe this all ends tomorrow... having mixed feelings.

Thank You and Keep Going

I just came back from the Japan Benefit Concert, and I am drained of all emotions.  I spent 60% of the show wiping the tears from my cheeks.  I've always loved singing, and I have been moved by various performances in the past, but tonight was different.  After spending the past 28 days, focused on little else than this challenge--warming up in my apartment, attending technique classes, facing my fears in performance classes, going to private lessons and coaching sessions, auditions and open mics-- I now have a much better understanding of the ridiculous amount of dedication, drive, and downright guts it takes to become a vocal performer.  I've been honored to stand beside so many of you in recent classes and performances at BDC-- and even though we don't always talk to one another, I see how hard each of you is working to reach your dreams-- so it touched my heart even more to see so many of you center stage tonight.  Whether your goal is to become a Broadway star, a recording artist, or anything in between, I'm sure the journey ahead sometimes seems long, uncertain, and terrifying, but for just a few minutes, I invite you to stand still in time, stop apologizing for what you are not, and take in the reality of what you already are.  You are performers.  You are artists.  And you are inspirations to people like me.  Thank you for sharing your talent with us tonight, and thank you for motivating me (and I'm sure many others) to keep working, keep dreaming, and keep evolving. 



I think I was so emotional tonight because my time in NYC is almost up, and nights like this remind me of the passion and artistry that I don't believe exists in any other city, and I'm going to miss it desperately.  If you have 2 minutes, please read this passage from one of my favorite authors, Shauna Niequist.  This passage planted a seed in me when I read it, and was a tremendous factor in my decision to leave my 5-year career as a high school English teacher in Texas to move to New York to reconnect with the arts.  I hope it moves you the way it moved me:

An excerpt from Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist:

Thank you.  Thank you and keep going.  Please keep writing songs.  Please keep believing in music, because we do, and we need it, and specifically, we need yours.  We need the sounds and words and rhythms of hope and the haunting twist of your voice.  We need the poetry of your lyrics and the spirit and force of your sounds.  We're desperate for great music, and there's so much out there, but never, ever enough.  We're desperate for great storytellers, great painters, great dancers, great cooks, because art does something nothing else does.

Art slips past our brains straight into our bellies.  It weaves itself into our thoughts and feelings and the open spaces in our souls, and it allows us to live more and say more and feel more.  Great art says the things we wished someone would say out loud, the things we wish we could say out loud.  When Ryan from Sleeping at Last sings, that's how I would sing, except that I sound like a five-year-old with a head cold when I sing, so I'm so glad that he does the singing, and I do the listening.  My friend Anne dances the way I would dance if I could.  My friend Sarah creates paintings that make me feel alive and free and like the world is more beautiful than it was before I saw that very painting, and I'm so glad she does, because I sure can't, and because I'm better for having seen her paintings. 


It matters, art does, so deeply.  It's one of the noblest things, because it can make us better, and one of the scariest things, because it comes form such a deep place inside of us.  There's nothing scarier than that moment when you sing the song for the very first time, for your roommate or your wife, or when you let someone see the painting, and there are a few very long silent moments when they haven't yet said what they think of it, and in those few moments, time stops and you quit painting, you quit singing forever, in your head, because it's so fearful and vulnerable, and then someone says, essentially, thank you and keep going, and your breath releases, and you take back everything you said in your head about never painting again, about never singing again, and at least for that moment, you feel like you did what you came to do, in a cosmic, very big sense. 


I know that life is busy and hard, and that there's crushing pressure to just settle down and get a real job and khaki pants and a haircut.  But don't.  Please don't.  Please keep believing that life can be better, brighter, broader, because of the art that you make.  Please keep demonstrating the courage that it takes to swim upstream in a world that prefers putting away for retirement to putting pen to paper, that chooses practicality over poetry, that values you more for going to the gym than going to the deepest places in your soul.  Please keep making art for people like me, people who need the magic and imagination and honesty of great art to make the day-to-day world a little more bearable. 


So to Pasqualino, Bear, Lauren, Chanel, incredible guy who performed "Fashion", CJ, Macy, Brandon, Setsuko, Marina, Erica, Jessica, Stephanie, Lory, Tim, Tituss, Sean, Kelly, and Kurt-- thank you.  Thank you and keep going.


Saturday, May 28, 2011

Day 28

Daily Practice
Time: 30 mins
Description: I sang through some old recordings of tech classes and private lessons.  Nothing fancy, I had squeeze in a quick practice in between dance class and the Japan benefit concert tonight!


Live Professional Performance


This morning I stood in line for rush tickets to How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, and we got $30 tickets to the show!  Most people affectionately call it the Harry Potter show since it stars Daniel Radcliffe, and I'm pretty sure that's why most people come to see it.  Nevertheless, it was a hilarious musical with fantastic singing and dancing.  I've actually never seen or read anything Harry Potter related, so I got to take in Radcliffe from a completely fresh perspective, and I think he did a marvelous job!











Dance Class 15
Instructor: Hillen
Type: Pop Ballet
Description: I've never taken this class before even though I wanted to all year.  It's a ballet class done to pop music.  All the same technique and skills, but done to fun songs you hear on the radio.  I think I might have to start a class like this when I move back to Texas!




Healthy Meals 44 and 45
You can probably guess by now...



Breakfast-- Kashi cereal


                                  Lunch-- chicken salad









Final Week Challenge Stats
Private Voice Lessons- 4/4
Coaching Sessions- 2/2
Live Vocal Performance- 1/1
NYC Industry Audition- 1/1
You Tube Demo Recording- 1/1
Charitable Deeds- 5/5
Healthy Meals- 25/25 (Personal Goal 45/50)
Live Professional Performance- 1/1
Vocal Practice Sessions- 28/30
Daily Blogs- 28/30
BDC Dance Classes- 15/20

Just 2 more days!!! 

Friday, May 27, 2011

Day 27

Daily Practice
Time: 1hr 30mins
Songs: Defying Gravity and Someone Like You
Description: I worked through Kurt's entire warm up CD, then I practiced some Meow's from previous private lessons.  I think I had a mix voice breakthrough!  I sang through both songs several times- completely on meow.  Then I started mixing in the words, but continuing to meow through trouble spots.  I felt like I finally had the right placement.  My throat felt completely released, the high notes were easy, and my volume was insane- and I wasn't even trying to be loud!   I'm going to find that theater belt if it kills me.

Dance Classes 13 and 14
Instructors: Heather Rigg and Chio
Type: Jazz and Jazz Funk 

Description: Loved both classes!  Heather's choreography is always fun and sassy, and Chio has a sweet groove that's fun if you can find it as well.  I picked up the choreo in both classes which is always a great feeling-- still need to work on performance qualities though. 



Healthy Meal 43




Lunch- Grilled chicken salad






----
Three more days!!! Look how close I am!!!

Final Week Challenge Stats
Private Voice Lessons- 4/4
Coaching Sessions- 2/2
Live Vocal Performance- 1/1
NYC Industry Audition- 1/1
You Tube Demo Recording- 1/1
Charitable Deeds- 5/5
Healthy Meals- 25/25 (Personal Goal 43/50)
Vocal Practice Sessions- 27/30
Daily Blogs- 27/30
BDC Dance Classes- 14/20
Live Professional Performance- 0/1

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Day 26

Wow,  so much has happened in the past 48 hours!  I'm going to put all of the requirements at the top, and if you're interested, you can keep reading for more details.  

Daily Practice
Time: 30 mins +
Songs: A Whole New World and Fallin' for You
Description: I went to Ripley Grier and went through some old recordings of tech class and private lessons.  I practiced A Whole New World to get ready for the Disney audition.  It felt good to sing full out and not worry about when my roommates were going to wake up or come home.  I was able to perform the song 3 times without any cracks or mistakes, so I felt confident going into my audition.

Live Vocal Performance



Venue: Paddy Reilly's Open Mic
Song Performed: Fallin' for You








Demo Recording
Location: Moon Lab Studios
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBw5uKWx-B8




NYC Industry Audition


Disney's Cruise Line and Theme Parks
Song: A Whole New World







Charitable Deed 5
Job Application Assistance
Description: "Empower adults with barriers to employment as they search for jobs and apply for positions online at Employment Service Center- an organization designed to assist public assistance recipients in moving from welfare to employment."

Note: It would have been really inappropriate to take pictures in this environment, but here's the packet of employment websites we were given to help guide our job search.




Healthy Meals 41 and 42


Breakfast- Kashi cereal and Activia yogurt


Lunch- Grilled teriyaki chicken and steamed vegetables








-----
Here are some more details about the activities listed above:

Live Performance
So this was my first open mic, and I was completely freaked out.  The bar, Paddy Reilly's, did not have a cover charge, but they did require a 2 drink minimum for performers.  Perfect!  I'll be honest, I used their drink mandate as an aid to help me relax before I took the stage.  :)  The performance went well.  The crowd was extremely relaxed and welcoming.  One girl playing an acoustic guitar told the audience that she had an intricate song that she hadn't put words to yet, and she had never played it in public before, but she just wanted to practice playing it in front of people.  Everyone cheered loudly and encouraged her to do her thing.  It was such a cool experience.  No one was there to judge; it was just an inviting space for artists to practice performing and share their craft.  I want to start going there every week-- there's no reason not to!  Even if I haven't fully 'perfected' a song, it will still be great practice to get up on a stage every week, sing into a microphone, and get over my nerves.

NYC Industry Audition
Sylvia and I waiting to be seen!
I went to the open call for Disney's Cruise Line and Theme Parks; they were casting for princes and princesses.  After warming up at Ripley Grier studios next door, I showed up to Pearl Studios at 9:30 to sign up for the 10:00 call.  I was #138.  I waited there for 3 hours when they said they were going to take a lunch break.  I asked the assistant what time they were going to return from lunch, and he said 1:50pm.  I went and grabbed lunch myself, and at 1:30 my friend texted me saying that they were calling my name and I was missing my turn.  Awesome.  So I ran through the streets of the city, knocking over wandering tourists and sprinting through flashing crosswalks.  I told the auditioning monitor what happened, and she was kind enough to squeeze me into the front of the next group.  I think it worked out perfectly because my mini crisis distracted me from my normal performance anxiety.  I practically stepped off the elevator and went straight into my audition.

Erin and I... still waiting!
I personally think the audition went well... for me.  I wasn't ultimately chosen to be a princess, but I sang the whole song without the 'shakes'.  And I got into my character and stayed in it the whole time.  I wasn't thinking about middle voice vs. mix voice, or when to breathe, or any other technical issue; I just performed.  Finally!  I came out of the room grinning; I'm sure people thought that I had gotten chosen, but it just felt so amazing to finally perform to the best of my ability, and not get overtaken by nerves (flashback to my a cappella audition disaster circa two weeks ago).  Hooray for growth! 



Demo Recording
Did I mention that I love him!
After my audition, I rushed to Brooklyn for my very first recording session.  Ugh, I'm in love with Lane.  There I said it.  This man is a GENIUS!  I wasn't sure how the whole process would work, and I was nervous that I was going to be so amateur compared to the artists that he's used to working with, but he made the experience painless... and actually quite enjoyable.  Once he had the background track of my song in his computer, he took me to the recording booth.  It was maybe twice the size of a phone booth.  I couldn't see anything but the microphone in front of me, so I communicated to Lane through that mic and the headphones.  I started by singing the song all the way through about 3 times.  Then he let me listen to it, and we'd decide if we could use one of the 3 takes of if there was a line or two that I should just sing over again.  He was so fast!  I would re-sing a section, and within 2 seconds it was smoothly spliced into the original song.  It was incredible.  Anyways, I've never done anything like that before, and I'm so glad that I was pushed to do it through this challenge.




Charitable Deed
I don't want to bring the mood down, but I can't just brush over this.  Most of charitable work that I did throughout the challenge was really encouraging, and got me excited about the progress that's being made in the city.  Unfortunately I didn't reach the same level of euphoria with my final project.  As stated before, the purpose of this project was to work with citizens on public assistance in helping them apply for jobs.  We were told that we would be partnered up with a candidate and that our goal was to help him apply to at least 2 jobs during the hour or so that we were there.

I was paired with Mike (I won't use his real name, just for privacy purposes).  I asked Mike to tell me about his work history so I knew what type of experience he had and what type of work we should look for.  He said that he had experience doing electrical and construction work.  He had worked in construction for the city of New York for the past 13 years, but he was fired for drinking on the job.  He has a felony on his record which he has to report on most applications.  I asked him how he felt about that, and he said that he wishes he could just talk to them face to face so he could own up to his mistakes, but also show that he's has learned from them and he's not the 'devil'.  He said that when people just look at him on paper-- having a felony and being fired from his last job-- he's sure they just see him has the 'devil'.  He actually used that term multiple times throughout my time there.  It broke my heart.

We started looking at one of the career websites, but I quickly realized that Mike had limited computer skills.  He typed with one finger, was clumsy with the mouse, and didn't know any of the basic short cuts that I had forgotten were even shortcuts.  For example, instead of double-clicking on an icon on the desktop, he would click on it once, wait for the drop down menu to appear, then click 'Open'.  During our time together, I taught him how to 'attach' a file, how to 'drag' the mouse, and how to 'copy' and 'paste'.  He was so grateful and eager to learn new tricks.

But let's cut to the chase.  Applying for jobs online is miserable enough in itself.  There are times when I've spent an hour on Craigslist, and when I looked back at my Sent emails, I had applied to over 30 jobs at a time, and I was lucky if I heard back from 1. With Mike's limited computer skills, he was only applying to 2 jobs in the same amount of time!  Furthermore, I could tell that he was getting discouraged reading some of the job descriptions.  With over 25 years of experience, Mike is actually highly qualified for most of the construction jobs that we found, and he seemed extremely knowledgeable about all of the technical terms listed in the requirements, but a lot of companies are now asking for candidates to take certain courses and get officially certified in various specializations-- some of the courses lasting only 2 or 3 days; the problem is Mike can't afford these courses-- some of them as low as $60. And then of course you add the felony and substance abuse on his record, making him the 'devil' to his potential employers, and we have the perfect storm.  The way I see it, it's only a matter of time before Mike gets fed up with the process-- he's doing everything right to try to get back on his feet-- but I just don't know how effective this current system is.

So I don't have solutions or closure, I'm just sharing my experience with you.  I worry for Mike.  I worry that if he doesn't get some sign of hope soon, he may just stop trying, and then where do you think he'll end up?  He reminded me of some of the teenagers that I taught back in Houston.  They worked SO HARD, but their grades still wouldn't budge.  It was our job to keep them motivated and keep refining their skills until they reached the success they deserved.  I only had about 2 hours with Mike, so I thought the best, most effective thing I could do during our time together, was fill him up with hope.  I wanted him to know that as a 'professional', I believed in him.  So I found everything that he was doing well, and repeatedly expressed my approval.  I told him that his resume looked sharp, and I could tell that he put a lot of time in it.  I pointed out that he has 5+ years in every job that he had listed which looks great to employers because they know he can stay in a job for an extended period of time.  I highlighted the wording in his cover letter that really colored a positive picture of his character and work ethic.  And I affirmed him in all the knowledge he was rattling off about electrical and construction techniques.  I wanted him to know that he was more than qualified for all of these positions, so that when he does get an interview, he can walk in there with confidence about his abilities.

When our time was up, I could tell that I reached my goal.  Mike thanked me profusely for teaching him the computer tricks, and more importantly for telling him how 'good' he was doing.  He said that I really made him feel good about himself.  I guess that's all I can ask for during a 2 hour meeting, but I left Mike personally feeling discouraged-- not understanding how two lives can inhabit the same environment and be so drastically different; so drastically unequal.  What did I do to deserve the life that I have?  I spend my days worrying about hitting the right notes at a Disney audition while people like Mike are living this other reality.  It just doesn't seem right, and I don't know how to make it right...

-----

All in all, this has been an incredibly transforming 48 hours, and I continue to be thankful for the ways in which this silly little voice challenge is changing my life and shaping my character.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Day 25

Daily Practice
Time: 30 mins
Songs: Falling for You
I warmed up to an old private session, and I ran through Falling for You a few times.  The open mic night at Webster Hall was a bust last night.  They were having a concert downstairs, but no one knew what 'open mic' I was talking about.  So I got to carry all those bottled up nerves for another 24 hours.  :(

I'm on my way to another place to perform-- I checked their website and called them, so it should be a go.  I'll update the rest of my day when I get back, but I wanted to make sure I posted my daily practice just in case I didn't make it home before midnight. 

Ahhhhhhh!!! So scaaaaaared!!!!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Day 24

Daily Practice
Time: 45 mins
Description: Full-Voice warm up CD
Songs: Fallin' for You
I'm about to go sign up for my first open mic.  I'm really nervous, but I've practiced the song a couple times, and it should be okay.  I picked an easy song, so I don't have to worry about belting out high notes.  My two goals are to 1) not chicken out, and 2) have my voice not be shaky for at least half of the song.  :)


Dance Class 12
Instructor: Stavro
Type: Ballet
I went to a Disney dance audition this morning!  It was a ballet piece, and I got cut, but it motivated Maureen and I to book it over to BDC after the audition and take Stavro's class.  :)  Class went well.  It was only my 2nd time taking her, so I'm still getting used to her combinations, but it's a good kick-in-the-pants type of class!













Healthy Meal 40
In between the audition and dance class, I stopped for a salad: greens, grilled chicken, corn, pico de gallo, black beans, shredded cheese and honey mustard.



----
Alright... I'm heading to an open mic.  :( 
Getting there early, so I can drink.  Just kidding! 
But kinda not... :)
Say a prayer for me!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Day 23

I can't believe there are only 7 days left!!!  This is Stage Fright- Boot Camp week!

Daily Practice
Time: 1hr 30 mins
Songs: A Whole New World, Fallin for You, Defying Gravity, Someone Like You, and Before the Throne

Today I went to Bettina's tech class and stayed for her performance class.  I had just come from a coaching session with Walter, so I was ready to attack A Whole New World, and I did!  Bettina was blown away; she said she loved the choices that I made for the song!  I had to direct her praise to Walter because he gave me some wonderful ideas, and I just followed through.  She said, though, that it still seemed a little like I was pretending to be excited about this whole new world, rather than actually being excited about.  So she had me sit on the floor (eye level with all the other students in the room) and sing the song again, this time as if I were truly talking to each person in the room and telling them about this unbelievable place that I'm in.  I pictured myself describing the sights of NYC to my Texas friends during my first month here, and it worked!  I even gave myself chills.  And all my classmates agreed that it felt real.  It felt great to finally be proud of one of my performances.

Coaching Session 2
The 2's denote Session 2!
Like I said above, I met with Walter again today.  Love him!  We worked through Before the Throne of God Above, a song for which I couldn't find the correct sheet music, so he had me sing it and then made the changes to the sheet music that I do have.  He's so patient!  Then we worked on A Whole New World, and he helped me with my character.  He pointed out places where I could 'lose the singing' and try to be conversational (while still on pitch) to bring more life to the song... "SOARing, TUMBling, freeWHEELing"... for example.  Then he showed me places where I could really milk the legato feel and hold notes out longer.  For example, I used to just fade out at the end of the song to make it sound sweet, but he suggested I should hold the note powerfully while the accompaniment plays under me so that it shows more confidence and finality to the character's choice.  He gave a lot of wonderful ideas, and I feel 10x more comfortable with the song!

Private Lesson 4
And to finish off the day, I had my final private lesson with Kurt.  Love him as well!  We worked A Whole New World one more time, and he reminded me that for the Disney audition, I'm not trying to impress a group of adults, instead I'm trying to entertain a crowd of little kids and make them see magic in my eyes.  That little switch really helped me.  I started picturing myself walking through Disney World dressed up like a princess, and having all of these kids get really excited and starry-eyed when they saw me.  That helped me to realize that I wasn't as much singing a "love" song as I was singing a "magic" song!  So hopefully I can remember all these notes and apply it on audition day!  Kurt and I finished out our session practicing Falling for You to get ready for my demo and open mic.  His notes were to keep the energy through every phrase, even though its a low song, so that I don't start to fall flat.   He also helped me shape the words on the bridge to help take some of the air out of the sound. 

Healthy Meals 38 and 39

Breakfast- Maple and Brown Sugar oatmeal


Dinner- Weight Watchers Vegetable Lasagna


 

----
I saved up all my heavy-hitters for this last week. I have something 'scary' every day, but there's no time for fear! Only 7 days left! 

Stay tuned for:
Tues- Disney Cruise Line- dance call; Webster Hall open mic
Wednesday- Disney Cruise Line- Lion King vocalist call
Thursday- Disney princess- vocalist call; demo @ recording studio
----

Final Week Challenge Stats
Vocal Practice Sessions- 23/30
Private Voice Lessons- 4/4
Coaching Sessions- 2/2
Live Vocal Performance- 0/1
Live Professional Performance- 0/1
Live NYC Audition- 0/1
You Tube Demo Recording- 0/1
BDC Dance Classes- 11/20
Healthy Meals- 25/25 (Personal Goal 39/50)
Charitable Deeds- 4/5
Daily Blogs- 23/30

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Day 22

Daily Practice
Time: 30 minutes
Description: Full Voice warm up CD
Songs: Falling for You, Before the Throne, and How Deep the Father's Love for Us
 
Healthy Meals 36 and 37

Lunch- Honey Nut Cheerios and fresh cherries

Dinner- green salad: romaine lettuce, ground turkey, shredded cheese, and poppyseed dressing




Charitable Deed 4
On Friday night, I went to PAL 369 in Harlem.  Before I even tell you about the charity, let me tell you about PAL!  It stands for Police Athletic League, and it's centers are located in some of the most difficult neighborhoods in New York City.  Founded by a police commissioner in 1914, PAL was developed as a way of 'keeping young people out of trouble by channeling their energies into recreational and athletic programs'.  Today they provide a number of incredible opportunities for NYC's youth- including educational, recreational, leadership, and employment programs.   Please take 5 minutes to peruse this website and see what amazing things this organization is doing in our city!  http://www.palnyc.org/800-PAL-4KIDS/Programs.aspx.

Anyways, as for my charitable deed, I specifically volunteered my time to set up for a Science Fair and Chess Tournament that was going to be held the following day.  The event was being put on by Morningside Area Alliance in conjunction with PAL 369, bringing in major institutions from around NYC to introduce children and their families to the world of science and technology.  We spent the evening blowing up balloons, painting signs, hanging streamers and banners, and doing any other finishing touches to transform the gymnasium into a science fair exhibit hall for the next day.  It was a great time, and I'm sure the students loved the transformation. 




Week 3 Challenge Stats
Vocal Practice Sessions- 22/30
Private Voice Lessons- 3/4
Coaching Sessions- 1/2
Live Vocal Performance- 0/1
Live Professional Performance- 0/1
Live NYC Audition- 0/1
You Tube Demo Recording- 0/1
BDC Dance Classes- 11/20
Healthy Meals- 25/25 (Personal Goal 37/50)
Charitable Deeds- 4/5
Daily Blogs- 22/30

As you can see I still have a lot to do!  But my goal is to complete all of these by May 28th so I have a few buffer days before the end of the competition.  Just 6 days left... heeeeere we go!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Day 21

I'm out of town and away from my computer, so I'm typing this on my phone.

Daily Practice
Time: 45 mins
Description: I warmed up to the exercises I recorded during my private lesson- working specifically on building volume and mix.
Songs Practiced: Defying Gravity, Someone Like You, Falling for You

Friday, May 20, 2011

Day 20

Today was a rockstar day!!!  I was ridiculously inspired and I have lots to share, so watch out!  I'll put the basics towards the top so that the judging panel can review this quickly.  Everyone else wanting to know more about my life, pull up a chair and get comfy!

Daily Practice
Time: 1hour 30 mins (warm up with Kurt's exercises and attended Kurt's tech class)
Songs: Adele's Rolling in the Deep and Someone Like You


Coaching Session 1
Instuctor: Walter Thompson
Songs:  Falling for You, A Whole New World, and You Can't Hurry Love
(Walter and I set up our 2nd session for Monday, so we'll take a picture with a 2/2 sign then)

Dance Class 11
Instructor: Beth Goheen
Type: Ballet



Charitable Deed 3
Title: Reading and Pajama Party
Description: Read children's books with economically disadvantaged children






Healthy Meals 34 and 35
Breakfast- cinnamon and spice oatmeal (switching it up a little bit!)
Dinner- salad: romaine lettuce, ground turkey, shredded cheese, poppyseed dressing








 
----
Daily Practice
I started this morning by warming up with the exercises that I had recorded yesterday during my private lesson.  These were the exercises Kurt taught me specifically to help me increase volume and incorporate more mix sound. 

Later in the day I went to Voice Tech and Voice Performance with Kurt.  In VT we worked on Rolling in the Deep and Someone Like You by Adele.  Some notes that stuck out to me from her songs: 1) she allows her jaw to become like mush so that her phrases have a smooth, relaxed quality, 2) she sustains her breath over extremely long phrases- again adding to her smooth sound, and 3) she switches back and forth between mix and natural middle within the song to add variety to the song. 

In VP I sang Falling for You.  I was still pretty shaky, but I'm refusing to be hard on myself.  Every time I go to class, stand up, and sing in front of a room full of people, I'm one step closer to where I want to be.  I'm so far from where I was a year ago, and I'm just happy that I'm doing it!

As an exercise to help us with our performance, Kurt had us all stand in a line, and one by one we stepped out, faced the rest of the line and received an explosive round of applause and cheers from our classmates.  Some people went shyly, barely making eye contact, just trying to get back in line as soon as possible.  Others went out and took bows, pretending like they were receiving a standing ovation in a packed theater.  After everyone went, Kurt pointed out our various responses and then talked about how it shows how some of us aren't even ready to receive applause.  At a moment when we should feel the most relaxed and embraced, we're still apologizing for who we are and shying away from the attention.  That made me realize that it's not about the singing at all.  We think we're so afraid of singing in front people, but in reality, this disconnect is happening somewhere even deeper than the voice.  Kurt went on to talk about our demeanor when we come into class.  We tend to walk into class as an empty vessel, waiting to be filled with validation and instruction-- how did I sound?, how should I stand?, how should I act?, how should I sing?.  Instead we need to start viewing ourselves as artists who have already made distinct choices about our voice, our character, and ultimately what we want to communicate to our audience.  From there a coach can choose to agree or disagree with our choices, and give advice and tips on how he might do it differently.  And from there, we can choose to make changes or modifications to our decisions, but the decision is ours, an whatever we do, we have to commit! The whole reason people choose to dance or sing is because we have a story we want to tell.  We've got to stop waiting for someone to 'fix' us and instead start telling our stories!  Clearly you can tell I was moved by his speech.  


Coaching Session
Today I also had my very first coaching session which was AMAZING!  I met with Walter who is the accompanist for Bettina's classes.  He and I have a special relationship, as he was there the first day I ever attended a performance class.  He watched me tremble and shake and he probably saw me tear up when I went to collect my music.  I feel like we always have a special moment when I bring my music to the piano before I walk out to sing my songs-- kinda like he's my dad who sneaks into the curtain wings to wish me luck before I go on stage. 

Anyways, he's a fabulous pianist, and he helped me with the technicalities of the music as well as giving me some ideas to accent the phrasing of the songs.  It was the BEST hour that I've spent singing since I moved to New York.  I wasn't looking at my music as quarter notes and rests, and head voice vs. middle voice, I was just singing.  I felt so comfortable, and I really started to just have fun with it.  When we switched to A Whole New World,  I think he heard my voice get all weird, and I messed up the words in the first line.  So he had me sit down at the bench with him and sing from behind the piano.  It was the best I had EVER sung the song- he even said so himself.  Something happened when I was not standing up, feeling as though I was about to audition-- my story was actually able to break through.  I told him that I wish I could audition sitting at the piano... maybe I'll start my own theater company, and that's how we'll start auditions.  Who knows, it might catch on.  ;-)

Dance Class
I went to ballet with Goheen this morning, and I feel comfortable saying that I was on point... not on pointe... but on point.  :) I just had a great day.  I was focused on my work and on elongating and emoting.  And for the first time ever-- literally in the 10 months since I've been taking Goheen-- I finally completed the entire petite allegro combination without losing the steps.  I was extremely proud of myself!

Goheen also had an inspirational lecture.  As we were going across the floor four at a time, a time when people tend to get nervous because everyone's watching you, she told us that we have to approach this time with the correct attitude.  We should consider ourselves students wanting to learn more rather than students who should already know everything.  This sounds a little contradictory to what we talked about in vocal performance class, but in this setting it makes sense.  She said that once we take on the latter attitude, we create a mental wall that is difficult to dance through.  Basically I interpreted it as the following: if we're going across the floor expecting to be perfect, then we're setting ourselves up for failure.  But if we're going across aware that we are imperfect, then we'll take bigger risks and we wont be disappointed with our mistakes, we'll just learn from them, and apply those lessons our next pass across the floor.  New quote: "Embracing imperfection leads to exploration and transformation."  Go ahead... you have my permission... start posting that on your facebook walls.  :)

Charitable Deed 3
Yesterday, I went to a Pajama Party.  This program was set up after the founder was visiting a shelter and saw most of the kids putting themselves to bed-- no one to tuck them in or read to them.  This broke her heart, and she started this program where volunteers come in and read to young kids.  The organization has expanded, and they now serve beyond the borders of just shelters, including more neighborhood kids who are living below the poverty line. 

I worked with a girl named Alicia.  She didn't like to talk much, but she actually had great comprehension.  We learned quickly that we weren't going to get very far with open ended questions, so we started reading a page to her and then ask her questions where she could just point to the answer, and she was always right. Sometimes we'd throw in a question that required a one word answer, and she'd whisper the correct answer to us.  Can you point to the frog? Perfect! And where's the elephant? Excellent!  Is he happy or sad? That's right!

It was fun watching her get into the stories and the pictures.  And at the end of the reading session, the Pajama Party organization gave each child a new book and a pair of new pajamas!  It's a very creative charity, and I love the way in which they've chosen to serve this demographic.  







----
So like I said, I had wonderful day!  I even stopped to grab a Backstage so I can see what new auditions are coming up.  I hope that I will be able to use this momentum as I roll into the final 10 days of the challenge!   If you made it this far, thanks for reading!