Day 1

Yes that's right Day 1, not Day 30.   Thirty in some way signifies finality, and (I'm pretty sure you know where this is heading)... I refuse to look at this as the end of a challenge, but instead the beginning of an even greater challenge.  


Healthy Meals 48, 49, and 50

Breakfast- Quaker cinnamon oatmeal

Lunch- All Fruit Smoothie (blueberries, bananas, strawberries, mangoes, and peaches)

Dinner- Southwest Salad from Lime Jungle (mixed greens, grilled chicken, corn, black beans, tomatoes, and carrots)










Daily Practice
Time: 1 hr +
Songs: When I Fall in Love and I Hope You Dance
I started the morning with vocalizations in my room, using the Full-Voice CD.  Later in the afternoon, I met with Kurt for an additional private lesson.  His biggest note to me is that I need to find the balance between continuing to practice and improve me technique, and actually starting to sing and perform-- which is the exact revelation I had earlier this week.  Especially after watching several fantastic open mics and live performances this week, I've been starting to reflect on what moves me as an audience member.  I've been picking up on the difference between people who are very technical with their approach versus those who are more emotional with their approach.  Obviously, we're all striving for the best of both worlds, but in my eyes, the one with emotion and intention wins 9 times out of 10-- even if their technique is not perfect.  We don't love performances because someone shows off their technique; we love performances because we connect to the story in some way or form.  Right now, I'm not telling stories, I'm just singing notes.  So as I transition out of this 30-day Challenge into my Every-day Challenge, I'm going to start pushing myself to take risks and "just go for it" as Kurt would say.

Dance Classes 19 and 20
Instructors:  Goheen and Jill (subbing for Salsberg)
Type: Ballet and Tap
Today I took my FIRST tap class in 12 years!  It was really fun, and I was surprised how much of it came back to me so quickly.  I didn't realize how physically demanding tap is.  You think it should be easy because people are just moving their feet, but I was drenched with sweat.  I also took ballet with the wonderful Beth Goheen.  She always has great words of wisdom: today she told us to "always dance from your center".  We often hear this term meaning, using your core or abdominal support to engage all of your movement.  She touched on that concept, but she also revealed a dual meaning to the word to discuss the idea of dancing from within.  Again we come back to this idea of story-telling.  All of your movement should be an outward expression of something from inside of you, not just a string of shapes that you force upon your body.

Final Week Challenge Stats
Private Voice Lessons- 4/4
Coaching Sessions- 2/2
Live Vocal Performance- 1/1
NYC Industry Audition- 1/1
You Tube Demo Recording- 1/1
Charitable Deeds- 5/5
Healthy Meals- 25/25 (Personal Goal 50/50)
Live Professional Performance- 1/1
Vocal Practice Sessions- 30/30
Daily Blogs- 30/30
BDC Dance Classes- 20/20

Closing Reflection
So this theme of communicating from within keeps coming up, and it will be my focus during my next stage in training.  Coming to NYC for a year has given me a tremendous opportunity to build my technical vocabulary in both singing and dancing.  But moving forward, I want to start exploring my own 'voice' and style to figure out who I am and what I am wanting to share through my art.  Thankfully through this challenge, I was pushed off the high diving board, so now I don't have to be held back by fear any longer, and I can just swim. 

Without being cliche, this experience has truly challenged and transformed my mind, my body, and my soul.  Thank you Kurt for organizing this-- although from the outside, it may just seem like a fun, exciting event; in reality, this has marked a major turning point in my life, and to that end, I am eternally grateful to you.   More importantly, thank you for believing in me! 
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I came across this quote a few days ago, and I think it's the best summation of these past 30 days:
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.  
 -- Anais Nin

To all the artists out there, thank you and keep going.

Day 29

Daily Practice
Time: 45 mins
Songs: Near You Always by Jewel and Captivate Us by Watermark
Description: Practiced the first 10 exercises on the warm-up, then did meow exercises from an old tech class.  I didn't have as successful of a practice as I had a few days before.  I really had to concentrate to not let things pull in my throat, so I was hesitant to take scales as high up as I normally do.  I'll be working with Kurt tomorrow,  I'm sure he'll help me get back on track.

I started working on some new songs-- moving away from the Broadway/auditioning circuit and finding things a little bit closer to my heart.   Fellow challenger, Chanel, set a post-challenge goal of recording a demo once a month to keep her working on new material, and also to help her track her growth.  I like that goal, so I'm going to steal it! :)

Dance Classes 16, 17, and 18
Instructors: Hillen, Chio, and Barber
Type: Ballet, Jazz Funk, and Lyrical Jazz
That's right, 3 classes, back-to-back-to-back.  That's 4hrs and 30 mins of hardcore dancing!  If you think about it, that's about how long some people take to run a marathon!  Anyways, I worked it out in all 3 classes; it was a good dance day.

Both Hillen and Chio used the same choreography as earlier this week, so I got to work more on presence and performance-- that's always my challenge because I spend so much energy focusing on the steps.  Barber's loves quick direction changes, so you have to stay focused otherwise you'll end up all wrapped around yourself and facing a different corner than everyone else.  She's also great because her movement is really open and expressive-- you can't hold back in her class; you'll just look awkward.  You have to let go and let your body move freely which is another struggle of mine, so this class is great for me.


Healthy Meals 46 and 47

Breakfast- Kashi cereal

                          Lunch- chicken and lettuce







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Final Week Challenge Stats
Private Voice Lessons- 4/4
Coaching Sessions- 2/2
Live Vocal Performance- 1/1
NYC Industry Audition- 1/1
You Tube Demo Recording- 1/1
Charitable Deeds- 5/5
Healthy Meals- 25/25 (Personal Goal 47/50)
Live Professional Performance- 1/1
Vocal Practice Sessions- 29/30
Daily Blogs- 29/30
BDC Dance Classes- 18/20


I can't believe this all ends tomorrow... having mixed feelings.

Thank You and Keep Going

I just came back from the Japan Benefit Concert, and I am drained of all emotions.  I spent 60% of the show wiping the tears from my cheeks.  I've always loved singing, and I have been moved by various performances in the past, but tonight was different.  After spending the past 28 days, focused on little else than this challenge--warming up in my apartment, attending technique classes, facing my fears in performance classes, going to private lessons and coaching sessions, auditions and open mics-- I now have a much better understanding of the ridiculous amount of dedication, drive, and downright guts it takes to become a vocal performer.  I've been honored to stand beside so many of you in recent classes and performances at BDC-- and even though we don't always talk to one another, I see how hard each of you is working to reach your dreams-- so it touched my heart even more to see so many of you center stage tonight.  Whether your goal is to become a Broadway star, a recording artist, or anything in between, I'm sure the journey ahead sometimes seems long, uncertain, and terrifying, but for just a few minutes, I invite you to stand still in time, stop apologizing for what you are not, and take in the reality of what you already are.  You are performers.  You are artists.  And you are inspirations to people like me.  Thank you for sharing your talent with us tonight, and thank you for motivating me (and I'm sure many others) to keep working, keep dreaming, and keep evolving. 

I think I was so emotional tonight because my time in NYC is almost up, and nights like this remind me of the passion and artistry that I don't believe exists in any other city, and I'm going to miss it desperately.  If you have 2 minutes, please read this passage from one of my favorite authors, Shauna Niequist.  This passage planted a seed in me when I read it, and was a tremendous factor in my decision to leave my 5-year career as a high school English teacher in Texas to move to New York to reconnect with the arts.  I hope it moves you the way it moved me:

An excerpt from Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist:

Thank you.  Thank you and keep going.  Please keep writing songs.  Please keep believing in music, because we do, and we need it, and specifically, we need yours.  We need the sounds and words and rhythms of hope and the haunting twist of your voice.  We need the poetry of your lyrics and the spirit and force of your sounds.  We're desperate for great music, and there's so much out there, but never, ever enough.  We're desperate for great storytellers, great painters, great dancers, great cooks, because art does something nothing else does.

Art slips past our brains straight into our bellies.  It weaves itself into our thoughts and feelings and the open spaces in our souls, and it allows us to live more and say more and feel more.  Great art says the things we wished someone would say out loud, the things we wish we could say out loud.  When Ryan from Sleeping at Last sings, that's how I would sing, except that I sound like a five-year-old with a head cold when I sing, so I'm so glad that he does the singing, and I do the listening.  My friend Anne dances the way I would dance if I could.  My friend Sarah creates paintings that make me feel alive and free and like the world is more beautiful than it was before I saw that very painting, and I'm so glad she does, because I sure can't, and because I'm better for having seen her paintings. 


It matters, art does, so deeply.  It's one of the noblest things, because it can make us better, and one of the scariest things, because it comes form such a deep place inside of us.  There's nothing scarier than that moment when you sing the song for the very first time, for your roommate or your wife, or when you let someone see the painting, and there are a few very long silent moments when they haven't yet said what they think of it, and in those few moments, time stops and you quit painting, you quit singing forever, in your head, because it's so fearful and vulnerable, and then someone says, essentially, thank you and keep going, and your breath releases, and you take back everything you said in your head about never painting again, about never singing again, and at least for that moment, you feel like you did what you came to do, in a cosmic, very big sense. 


I know that life is busy and hard, and that there's crushing pressure to just settle down and get a real job and khaki pants and a haircut.  But don't.  Please don't.  Please keep believing that life can be better, brighter, broader, because of the art that you make.  Please keep demonstrating the courage that it takes to swim upstream in a world that prefers putting away for retirement to putting pen to paper, that chooses practicality over poetry, that values you more for going to the gym than going to the deepest places in your soul.  Please keep making art for people like me, people who need the magic and imagination and honesty of great art to make the day-to-day world a little more bearable. 


So to Pasqualino, Bear, Lauren, Chanel, incredible guy who performed "Fashion", CJ, Macy, Brandon, Setsuko, Marina, Erica, Jessica, Stephanie, Lory, Tim, Tituss, Sean, Kelly, and Kurt-- thank you.  Thank you and keep going.